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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Time to Pray Fajr...

Bismillah. Salaam Alaikum.

divinitive words

leatherneck
kaleidescope
leave of absense
first born
rivalry

Divinitive Words...

Ransom
mollusk
operate
Doctor
Oncology

Sometimes being psychic feels undauntingly like a curse.

However, we (us alike) must live with it. The saddest part is knowing one's own fate. People are so very evil in this world. Fortunately, I haven't found anyone as precise as me. Thank God. They would be horrified with the truth of situations on a daily basis.

Insha'Allah, I will see my children again. Maybe I will take them fishing or something.

Divinitive words of the day...

Tentacles
Cluster
Quint
rupture (knock on wood)
colon
frame

Monday, May 28, 2007

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Enlightenment is a Fun Activity...Subject: Schizophrenia

My purpose today in this post:
To enlighten you via a brief lesson utilizing PsychoAnalysis, Comparative Analogue, as well as simple logic.

I will stash away my scientific methods for now...keepin' it simple.

Why?
you are trying to diagnose me with a psychiatric disease to prevent me from getting my kids back, which would make me legally incompetent. Basicly, your trying to suppress me through judicial procedure in any and all areas possible to prevent another ethnic person from succeeding. Anyway after I win this victory, you'll just resort to homicide, so oh well. Atleast you'll learn something.

What is SCHIZOPHRENIA? :
  1. "major mental disorder of unknown cause typicall characterized by a separation between the thought processes and the emotions, a distortion of reality accompanied by delusions and hallucinations, a fragmentation of the personality, motor disturbances, bizarre behavior, etc., often with no loss of basic intellectual functions: this term has largely replaced dementia praecox, since it does not always result in deterioration (dementia) or always develop in adolescence or before maturity (praecox)" --webster's dictionary

Now, if you don't know me, or if you've gotten a whiff of my abilities...you either hate me for being gifted or you just find me extremely weird, boring, or complex and crazy.

  • Utilizing definition A above, I will first describe the definition and compare this particular behavior to a well known human being who incorporates exactly the same mannerisms naturally and are honored for this type of behavior.
  • Secondly, I will request that you examine those characteristics in my own mannerisms, analyze how they naturally & oh so cozily incorporate into my culture, ethnic background, circumstance, character, work history or engagements, marital status, etc., etc., and overall disposition.
  • Now, now...I already know injustice is the basis for all this craziness...but I enjoy what I do and that's helping you work through your problems, emotional issues, despair and obsession with causing calamity and casualty in other people's lives where you have absolutely no place or reason to.

I will begin NOW with example number 1:

  • Marine Corps Soldiers, "jarheads", "marksmen", "snipers", oh what the heck...let's just go all out and be honest. They are trained, given benefits such as discounts for green peas at grocery stores & such to kill the enemy. Point Blank.
  • Marines are the most, aside from Airmen, honarable of the military soldiers as propoganda & reputation as freedom fighters has claimed.
  • One will spend quality time with his wife, tuck his child into bed, wake up for church in the morning, get a page to go into the field if stationed abroade, snipe someone, come back home just in time for dinner and settle peacefully at the table as if nothing brutle has even occured.
  • This dual-personality is characterized in this job action as "skilled", "honorable", "outstanding", "excellency", etc.,etc. This character type has as well been honored as holding the capacity to endure with absolute composure whatever hectic atmosphere in the 'field' is thrown their way.
  • This takes discipline they say.

Moral of the story: The above definition of Shizophrenia labels the individual as seperating actual reality from emotion.

This characteristic is similar to the same of that in the individuals defined under those suffering with Schizophrenia. However, if you are one hired into the armed forces, you just happen to be an honorable Schizoid.

  1. "term for MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER" - Webster's Dictionary
  • I'll just utilize myself in this example...it's easier.
  • The following are real quotes of comments made to me by others, however, listed as a generalized excerpt.
  • "No you didn't just sew 1500 stones onto that gown. You're crazy."
  • "No you didn't just win a gold medal for drawing that. You're lying."
  • "No you don't have a job, I never see you doing work. You're a lazy bum."
  • "Where did you get that food, was a guy at your house last night for you to prostitute?"
  • "No you never conducted business, you're uneducated. You're stupid."
  • "You're obviously crazy and suffering from hallucinations. You will not publish 30 books simultaneously."
  • "You did not teach your children anything worthwhile from home. Black people are violent & stupid."
  • "You didn't sew that shawl, your dumb."
  • "You didn't take a shower, I know people like you are dirty."
  • "What are you?"
  • "An Indian guy never asked you to get married, you're ugly. You're crazy."
  • "I never asked you to marry me, ever. You're mentally ill or hallucinating."
  • "Was that Arab guy a citizen, cuz he must have used you. You're mentally ill."
  • "You sure that Arab man didn't use you. Cuz they only marry pretty & civilized women."
  • "How did you know what I was about to say before I said it. You never met that lady. You're crazy."
  • "Oh she's reading the scriptures in the Bible all the time, don't mind her...She's crazy."
  • "You can't have that baby, (I'll have too much child support to pay) I mean, you're mentally unfit."
  • "You can't mother a child, (You'll sue me for millions) I mean, you're mentally unfit."
  • "You didn't memorize the entire Revised Codes of Washington in 2 Hours. Your crazy."
  • "You don't keep your house clean, you're not a woman."
  • "You're lying, you didn't cook that."
  • "You didn't just design, cleanse, cut & shape that hair. Your crazy & lying."
  • "You didn't just get 30 Contracts in 5 minutes. You are completely nuts."
  • "Well I'll be dam*ed. You're a man. Women don't deal in business like that."
  • "Ughh! You nursed your babies for 14 months each. You're groce!"
  • "You didn't just redesign the interior of his house in 3 Hours."
  • "WHere did you plagiarize that poem from. Your too stupid to write that."
  • "Where did you plagiarize that manuscript from. Black people are dumb."
  • "You didn't move that yourself, women are too weak."
  • "You cooked for your kids! How did you manage to pack food back to your house with two kids?" (I'm assuming they figured the following: Your were supposed to be starving without my help.)
  • "Look at the trouble you've caused, why do you have nearly 100 books laying all over the place? You can't read all this. You crazy freak."
  • "You cannot use my computer even though you have a deadline to meet."
  • "You didn't just do that architectual drawing instead of using my computer. Your lying."
  • "It's okay, you can tell me where you stole that food from. (I bartered) Oh, it's okay. Sometimes women need a sugar daddy on the side to provide eating. (No idiot I bartered space in my home for an amount of invoiced food items.) It's okay, you don't have to lie."
  • You don't distribute Petroleum. Your insane.
  • "You're not a Therapist. You're obviously in need of a reality check and Psych evaluation."
  • "You're not a Naturopathic Physician and a Therapist at the same time. Your crazy."
  • "You're not capable of prognosticating and diagnosing your own physical illness. I've been doing this for 25 years. You have a psychiatric disease. (after meeting me for 2 minutes and getting a bill for $3,000.00 Leaving with only a threat & attempt at intimidation.)"
  • "Sweety your hallucinating, there's no way someone like you actually will be receiving $400,000.00 in royalties from a silly book you think you wrote."
  • "When you address your mental illness, we'll give you you're kids back, (however in the meantime, Papa Tom & Papa Mark will be their fathers & soon adopt them while we incapacitate you like yesterday's news.)" -The Social Worker who watched the kids screaming not to separate from me and ran away from the guardian who brought them to visitation.
  • "You can't sing, dance, or rap, let alone model. You're ugly and crazy."
  • "You got credit? But you're dumb, black, and don't deserve to have what other's have in society."
  • "Did you cheat to get an A on that exam?"
  • "Did your parents tell you you were a glitch?"
  • "Are you actually looking up modeling agencies? How you gonna model pregnant?"
  • "You have a psychiatric disease, you are not PSYCHIC."
  • "How could you tell what my husband was thinking? You are insane."
  • "How were you able to tell me my brother escaped from where he did. No one knows that. You're hallucinating."
  • "How were you able to tell me that my fiance was having people watching what I was doing, even though he's away? You are weird."

And the following last but not least...and not a quote or excerpt.

BEFORE SEPTEMBER 11th, 2001 (Was it 2001?) I was on the phone with Sergeant Cip. He was trying to make sure I boarded the airplane to bring our son to his family. I can't quite recall the timeline, however & I've never brought this up to him since then, however I'm positive he remembers.

(let's get this straight. I am an American Born, Happy Muslim. I love Islam and the only thing I understand is utilizing Islam as a gateway to a wonderful and disciplined lifestyle with complete access to Allah. I love America, aside from racism.)

***

Mediums are not born with a manual that states the following:

Welcome to the world. You've been gifted in this manner. Please follow these steps and you are sure to never go wrong. Should you get confused, unable to figure out how to utilize hints, signs, etc. etc. please call 1-888-we'll tell ya how.

***

Instead, we have to go through the agonizing annoyance of signs, signals, repetitions, emotional visions, other people's funky or good energy clasping onto us, learning how to actually prevent harm or danger, while trying to explain it to others who are completely clueless and scrutinizing. So an individual finds it easier to simply keep this a secret. Life is so much more easier this way. It almost makes you feel weird, complex and crazy. Different from others. The worst thing is losing friends. Especially a person referred to as a "medium", usually learns really deep dark secrets about people, and just wishes to not even think about it because it's either disgusting or completely intolerable. The funny thing is when someone is thinking and a "medium" may tap into their thoughts. Then one must try to time the visions or signs or signals they get, to learn how to tolerate or read into this huge responsibility in the future.

***

One must compare past situations to current situations in order to get the timing correct. So far looking back on past situations, timing with certain situations are approximately 1 month. Others, well I'm not sure yet.

***

Anyway...anyone is welcome to go back to the payphone I was utilizing during that time to confirm. I quickly made

a phone call to the Sergeant about boarding the plane with our son headed toward Brooklyn, New York.

You'll pull up the number I dialed from that exact location and I never thought anything of it at that particular time until now. Anyway, I was running late as usual and driving toward the airport, next to a Vehicle. As I was driving the vehicle passed me up on the left hand side and there was a man scooching down from the back seat with a gun. Not a small one either. I didn't get on the plane, and missed three flights. The Sergeant repeatedly asked me what time I would be arriving because his family had been expecting me for several hours. I became extrememly nervous (the kind of nervous like one hour prior to someone committing the hit and run with the truck on my son Jordan) and drove back over to the payphone I mentioned above, telling him what I explained earlier. I cannot recall exactly what he said and the manner in which he stated his response, however, it was in the nature of ignoring the situation and/or being cautious to avoid any such a situation.

Later I boarded the plane, and there was a man sitting opposite of me on the left-hand side a couple of seats forward. He turned back to look at me while flickering a cigarette lighter. I just said hi, and returned to whatever it was I had been doing trying to ignore him. I cannot recall what his facial features look like.

Now, the above were all reality. People who have ignorantly made comments to me in private thinking they were safe in doing so. Safe from public exposure. Of course, ignorants never really care when they humiliate others. So I doubt they would care to actually be seen committing the act of ignorance and hate.

Moral of the aboved-bullets?

  • Just because someone is gifted and multi-talented and it's astonishingly unheard of (trying to be as humble as possible here) doesn't mean they have multiple personalities. It just simply means they enjoy doing many things and effortlessly apply great interest in the areas they wish to excell in for personal or professional growth.
  • Just a bit of advice-- Jealously is a feeling of emotion, however, if we draw multitudes of energy on this particular emotion the results may be hurtful to either the issuer or receiver.
  • Just as a woman is more than excited to whisk her naturally blonde head of hair with pride while gloating on the fact that she represents the real 'American' woman, it's not nice to get upset at her. If she is beautiful don't rain on her parade.
  • Just as a man may thrust his big bold naturally blonde dreadlocks at you, as he carries his Rastafarian backpack with a genuine twist in his stride, don't frown at him. He's proud & obviously comfortable being in touch with a culture foreign to his own, being naturally blonde, and working as the Finance Executive at the large company. He doesn't have multiple personalities. He's simply cultured, and fairly comfortable embracing diversity.
  • The Mother--plays six City-sponsored sports, writes songs, bathes, cooks, cleans, teaches hers & others' kids, as well as owns a business, is a writer, a fellow of the local volunteers, and has 10 adopted children in Africa (She doesn't go around pretending to be a different human for every African child she relates to, Silly Goose!). She has made each individual endeavor a professional one by going a step farther. She's not suffering from Schizoid, Multiple Personality Disorganizational Disease. She's just ... multi-faceted.
  1. "Informal] a situation, state of mind, etc. in which widely conflicting opinions, ideas, or practices coexist, often resulting in indecision, vacillation, wavering, etc." - Webster's Dictionary
  • Now this is my favorite. I'm sure we can all relate to this one particular observation.
  • I will proceed to utilize relative analagies to emphasize why people;humans-- act the way they do.

Disposition is the Key to why people REACT or RESPOND the way they do.

  • Slavery & Racism - This behavior is still alive & easiest for all to relate to either from the giving or receiving end.
  • Marriage & Dating - This complex situation is an infinately engaging aspect of our very being & easy to relate to.
  • Relationships - Interpersonal interactions play the leading role in human existence & we humans, unlike animals are cognizantly manipulated by the aspects of intellect. The power of rationality is a privilege through intellect granted the human.

Regardless of an individual observed in environments such as those bulleted 1, 2, or 3 above, behaviors are acquired by prolonged exposure as well as subconsciously projected via induced defense mechanisms.

Individuals with behaviors relating to the above example aspect of Schizophrenics noted "Informal...", may or may not be symptomatic of acquired Schizoid.

This is where DISPOSITION plays the key role to diagnosing such an illness.

Hypothetically speaking...

-- Margie was having an affair. She is the partner of a 30 year marriage and younger than her husband. They have kids as well as a supportive family. Margie is consistently jumpy when her husband nearly catches her cheating because she's done wrong and is afraid to get caught being unproper. She's always seeing her husband walking around the corner, checking outside the blinds, shutting off her cell phone, making sure items of her lover aren't left in her car, and sniffing constantly to see if traces of her lover's cologne aren't left in the family car. Always looking in her rearview mirror to make sure no one in the neighborhood saw her license plate or anyone from the Family Doctor's Office or Parent Teacher Association didn't catch her.

-- Gunther was out with friends. Friends maliciously assaulted a young girl thinking it was fun that evening, and he wants to remain loyal to his friends as well as the law. Everytime Gunther sees a girl that looks like the victim, he twitches or flints or gets flashbacks. Gunther twitches or flints everytime he sees his friends as well, because they threaten him in order to stay out of prison.

-- Mary is a nobody. However, everybody tells her secrets. As if she's a nun or something. She neither wishes to carry these wonderful secrets or wishes to expose them because everyone needs a shoulder to cry on. In the meantime, others become paranoid that they will get in trouble for their actions and become persistently aggressive & boldly threatening toward little old Mary & her family.

-- Johnny has been married for seventeen years. His wife feels insecure because Johnny has not payed her any attention at all. The wife has become severely insecure and believes Johhny has found another woman of his dreams. He's always sneaking around every time she sees him. Very weird and strange paranoid like behavior. As soon as his Johnny's wife leaves for her Thursday night meetings at the children's school he goes into her closet. He feels so sensual and relaxed. Especially when he wears her red silk nightgown and sensuous lace and feather slippers. He listens to classical music and is constantly peeping through the blinds, backtracking his every move to make sure his wife never finds out he's gay. She's noticed his odd behavior, but remains insecure of herself instead. This has been going on for atleast 8 years. Johnny's wife honestly has come to the conclusion that he is cheating or suffering from some sort of traumatizing situation resulting in a mental disorder.

-- Darnell is a professional. Darnell however, is not so smart when it comes to covering his tracks as a Peeping Tom. He furtively watches the women at his job as well as failing to curb his sexual appetite at home. Darnell has been rejected by his wife for years and feels extremely compelled to remain chaste and faithful only to turn toward the arms of his very own child. Although Darnell has a great reputation amongst colleagues a detective is sent to investigate the matter. Unfortunately his sickness is mistakingly misdiagnosed as what appears to be depression. In reality, however, it's his loneliness & spite that leads him to the disgusting obsession of this particular fixation. Overall, though, Darnell is very non-chalaunt and clever about his actions.

-- On a lighter note...millions of people ignore situations, keep to themselves things they have witnessed, or just simply mind their own business. However, the evil-doers may become paranoid of getting caught and become maliciously meddlesome toward the person they feel may say something, proceeding to cause ruin to innocent people just for insecurities brought to life by their own misbehavings.

Disposition is this key!

------

Disclaimer: For legal purposes I am neither associating directly or indirectly with this particular post.

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Monday, May 21, 2007

Let me add this...

We are born once.
When babies are born, they have access to all the earth has to offer...
Until another human tells them they are not good enough.

We are all human, until another human decides otherwise.

---

So here's what you do if you have been victim in such a situation.

---

Regardless of how many people scold you, attempt to break you down, etc. etc. &

regardless of barriers that have been put in your road to success or in realizing your potential after breaking through suppression...
---

Live as if they and their actions are completely non-existent.

Accomplish your goals, and don't hide your excellence.

Even if you are threatened with intimidation.

---

Just live how you were born to live...Like a human being.

Accept with a Smile...Ya Allah

Bismillah Ir Rahman Ir Rahim...

Ya Allah thank you for my blessings.
I repent for my sins,
Forgive me for my shortcomings,

Grant me the capacity for forgiveness,
and to love unconditionally as in the past.

Bismillah Ir Rahman Ir Rahim

Bless my family as well as others who
are willing to accept my prayer.

Ya Allah,

I understand I am not on your level
and in no way shall I assume you accept me
as a good enough entity,

however please accept, now and Insha'Allah in the future
my prayers.

It appears, and I am in no position to quote past research or teachings, however,
that you do not give people more responsibility than they are capable of handling.

You currently and in the past have issued me my fare share.

Now, Ya Allah I humbly request that I am granted the capacity to accept with a smile, easily comprehend, readily manage, willingly delegate, trustfully render, and successfully conclude the projects now at hand, bringing joy or elightenment to others...

and again with a smile!

Insha'Allah make it easy I ask.


Thank You.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

A Stranger in a Public Facility...

sat next to me a couple months ago and said softly...

"You know, isn't it a coincidence how DSHS strategically places small kids over 100 miles away, across the water to make it as difficult as possible for them to see the mother."

Quietly I sat.

"You know one lady"... he said grimly, "died while her small kids were in foster care, then they switched the kids' birth certificates and the foster parents adopted them."

He then walked away with an eerie weird scrooge-like grin on his face.

How nice the stalkers who want my kids are. They are so so nice.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Bismillah Ir Raman Ir Rahim

Insha'Allah and I love you Allah.

Through trials and tribulations I love you Allah.
Forever now, forever more.

You are the most beneficent, most merciful, all sustainer of the worlds.
You protect me Oh Allah, in times of need, Subhan Allah.

You give me strength Oh Allah and carry me through out.
You know before it's occurance Oh Allah, and I am at Your mercy.

Insha'Allah remind me of your power, SubhanAllah Alhamdulillah Allahu Akbar.
So simple to comprehend, so very very easy to apply.

If only I give everything over to you and only you, Ya Allah.

"Problems", "trials", "concerns", "pains", "misunderstandings", "confusion", insha'Allah
You and you alone, the creator of all of the universe have mercy on your servants, insha'Allah.

With the foundation never to be mistaken or lost amongst confusion, your power to heal, comfort, adorn, sustain, replenish, and make whole...

the state of purity, forgiveness, spiritual beauty, and freedom from harm, I give myself to you and only you, Ya Allah.

I give my family to you and only you, Ya Allah.
I give my children to you and only you, Ya Allah.

Protect us from harm, Insha'Allah.
Enlighten our spirits, for our souls see as far as the realms of the Universe may extend.

Infinate love, joy, happiness, bestow upon our lives.
Surrounding our Auras with complete wholeness,
with our temples as filters, shedding any evil energies
as they attempt to magnetize toward our goodness, Insha'Allah.

Peace and joy and unconditional love.
Peace and joy and unassailable hope in our future,
Peace and joy and a bond, unbreakable by any evil.

Shed all evils as they approach us.
Shed and devour all evil as they tempt us.
Shed and announce to the monkeys of evil trying to clinch onto our backs as we stride
through glorious paths of happiness.
To those who utilize our good as prey, allow them the capacity to comprehend
lovingness and peace and not to attempt to starve our joy by way of falling temptation to the devil's plea.

Insha'Allah, bless them with the enlightenment necessary to see their beauty, their love, their hope, their unconditional faith in ONE who cherishes them, through all aspects of life and love here on earth and the hereafter.

You, Oh Allah, you and only you the oft-forgiving, all sustainer, most high and merciful, creator and owner of all seen and unseen...

are my husband
my lover
my friend
my brother
my sister
my job
my career
my sanity
my complete wholeness
my strength and privilege of being a mother

Insha'Allah...

and this is why I am not perfect. Lower than the dirt that you have created, at your mercy...

Bismillah Ir Rahman Ir Rahim
a uzu billahi minash shaytanir Rajim

Ya Allah.

What is written, hath been written.
The key is to enjoy what has been written.

If my pain has been written, only to inspire a morsel in another,
the life cycle has shedded it's appreciation upon my soul.

My spirit free of ecumbrances or liens of the devil.
Judgments only of those seeking interactions of justice for all
shall I entertain.

Should I, any second on the minute, any hour of the day ever
fall short of Iman to fall in love with a path of hopelessness or
feelings of shame or guilt or unworthiness, attempting to fall upon
a path of the slightest inclination of a morsel of insanity or depression...

You, and only you Oh Allah, I call upon to replenish my cup of HOPE & Promise
in the future.

Shall I fall prey to the inclinations of the devil, marketing to me a path of
unsobriety, a path of anxiety, a path of or with inclination to consummate with
or on behalf of Shaiytan, remind me Ya Allah, that you are in unconditional love with me.

Subhan Allah Alhamdulillah Allahu Akbar.


You have promised love and joy and peace and hope and sustanance.

Replenish me when I fall prey, with consistent reminders.
Replenish my Iman, promising never to charge for refills.
Replenish me Ya Allah, where I am lacking and with no shame on my part.

Insha'Allah, I understand that I am fulfilled.

I am replenished.
I am faithful.
I am full of hope and joy.
I am an outstanding Mother.
I am beautiful.
I am healthy.
I am Insha'Allah protected.
I am eager Ya Allah.
I am encouraged.
I am supporting.
Insha'Allah.

I make mistakes, however You, Ya Allah, have provided me the priceless gift
of self-awareness and the initiative to invest in the betterment of myself.

You, Ya Allah have provided me the SELF-AWARENESS to see the purpose of
my gifts are to GIVE them to the fullest in all aspects of life, for and by way of the
purpose of the cycle of life.

Insha'Allah you have entrusted me with authority to SHARE.
I am at your mercy, Subhan Allah Alhamdullilahi Rabil Allamin.

I have realised, the privilege to SHARE has to be EARNED.

Bismillah Ir Rahman Ir Rahim.

Ya Allah, any assets you bestow upon me Ya Allah, I will utilize for
the betterment of society, the progress of society and it's people,
and for the simple purpose of bringing JOY AND HAPPINESS into
the lives of all fellow beings especially in a world in which we
experience the not so accommodating journey of life.

For the betterment of milestones in Healthcare and Science.
Insha'Allah a uzu Billahi minash Shaitanir Rajim, Ya Allah.

Insha'Allah.


I love you, Ya Allah.
and I am not perfect in any way or form.


Love,

Rachel.

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Lecteur D'esprit

Lecteur D'esprit
www.MindReaderTheSeries.com

Saana Iman Rose

Saana Iman Rose
Masterful Paintings

Black Panther

Black Panther
A Microsoft Clipart Photo. Try It!

Dr. Ali's Little Munchkins

Dr. Ali's Little Munchkins
Jordan Ramesh & Saana Iman

Humanity

It is not my specialty at this time to diagnose and treat mental health problems, however, by nature I am inclined as a Preventative Care Physician, Addictions Counselor, Hypno Psychotherapist and patron of humanity to utilize my 20 years of experience for recognizing, administering, and facilitating rehabilitation where it is needed. The key to my services is whether or not an individual wants to change. If an individual wants change it makes my love for helping others a whole lot easier. There's nothing comparible to the rewards of serving others.

Dr. Ali's Family & Friends

Dr. Ali's Family & Friends
Dr. Ali & Daughter Saana Iman Rose

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